Dinner and Games

We love our Date Nights! Most of the time we spend them on our own. But we also like to Double Date and get together with a group. This picture was taken in January 2007.


Douglas and Tracy fixed an incredible dinner and we played Cranium afterward. It was crazy fun!

The Rules

Over the years we have been asked, "What makes your marriage work?" Being asked that question again and again, we realized that we must have implemented some things in our relationship, knowingly and not, that touch others' hearts.

Looking back, we were proactive in creating a special marriage relationship from the very beginning...even before we were married. And without really understanding the implications on one June day in 1992, we talked about Our Rules...

Traci's Rule: NEVER YELL AT ME
While waiting for Jeff one day, I happened hear a man yelling. It was horrible and I honestly thought he was yelling at a dog or other animal. He was out of control. When I realized that he was yelling at his wife, I was shocked that a man could be so mean and degrading. So when Jeff arrived, I told him what I'd witnessed and told him resolutely that he would never yell at me.

That opened a door to a wonderful discussion about how we should treat each other throughout the future. I'd presented my one rule. And without much hesitation, Jeff then presented his...

Jeff's Rule: NEVER WALK AWAY
Jeff wanted to make sure that when the inevitable arguments came in the future, that I would never turn from him and walk away. That we would remain together until it was resolved. It would be OK to say, "I need some time to think this over," but I could never walk away in anger.

The Clincher: When you make a rule for someone else, you need to keep it yourself. :-) So, in 16+ years we've been pretty good about not yelling or walking away during a heated discussion. I must confess that I may have tried to yell (oops!), but I have such a teeny voice, that it doesn't sound like yelling.

Do you and your spouse share some rules that are important to you?

54 Years To Go!

We celebrated our 16th anniversary last month. And as we reminisced, we recalled two things we said just after we got married.

1. Knowing that it seemed way too easy for people to get divorced in this disposable society, we solemnly promised that we would never throw the "D" word around (we have never said it in our marriage).
AND
2. We amusingly decided that, "We'll be married about 70 years and then we'll re-evaluate to see how it's working."

So far, so awesome! Just 54 years to go!

What funny or interesting topics do you remember discussing just after you were married?

A Love Letter

Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,

does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account

a wrong suffered,
[keeps no record of wrongs]

does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never fails

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Are you Newlyweds?

We are unabashed Hand Holders! If you are the same, you know what we mean. You can't walk next to your husband or wife without your hands being magnetically attracted to each other! :-) Some couples even have a specific side that they must walk on, holding their spouse's hand specifically with their left or right. We trade sides, but his forefinger always slides right between her pinky and ring fingers.

We're always fascinated watching other couples, when we're out on our Weekly Date Days/Nights. Just a couple weeks ago, we noticed a husband walking about 20 feet in front of his wife...they didn't look angry with each other...they just weren't together. We actually get excited when we see couples holding hands. It's normally the young, unmarried couples, or the cute older couples. We've been married 16 years and we hold hands everywhere, while walking, in grocery stores, in a restaurant. We're frequently asked if we're newlyweds.

A couple years ago, I read an article about Hand Holding and how it reduces stress in women (men were not tested). A trigger sent a level of stress through a woman's body. She encountered the most stress if she was holding no hand. A little less if she was holding a stranger's hand. Even less stress if she was holding her husband's hand. And she encountered the least stress if she was holding her husband's hand and had rated her marital quality higher than most.

So! What can we learn from this? Two things...

1. If you're a hand holder...good for you!

2. If you're not, grab your wife's hand! Grab your hubby's hand! You just might get asked if you're a Newlyweds! :-)